A Family Examined – This Is Not about Us, by Allegra Goodman

I had quite a wait for this novel – I think there were about 150 people ahead of me on the library's hold list. I'm happy to say it was worth it.Allegra Goodman does not disappoint, whether she is writing about the generations of a Jewish family, as in this book, or in Isola, about a 16th century French noblewoman who is abandoned and stranded on an island in St. Lawrence River in Canada but lives to tell the tale. That shows the diversity of her talent.

The Rubensteins are a close family, but when Jeanne, the youngest of three sisters in their seventies, dies of lung cancer, a petty argument between the remaining sisters Sylvia and Helen over apple cake develops into a long-standing feud between them, and creates awkwardness among the other family members.

That is a kick-off into an examination of the relationships between parents and children, husbands and wives (and that of the family's lesbian granddaughter/niece/cousin and her wife), younger siblings, and cousins. We meet them all in this story: Sylvia's son Richard whose wife Debra is divorcing him, their concerns about their two daughters, and the subsequent developments that impact them; Helen's older daughter Pam and her personal difficulties; Helen's younger daughter Wendy and her protective, loving wife Jill; and, Jeanne's sons Steve and Dan, their marriages to Andrea and Melanie, and their kids, Zach and Nate, and Phoebe.

As in every family, there are conflicts and disappointments, joyful occasions and celebrations. Goodman paints a complex portrait of a Jewish family that many readers will relate to, no matter what their ethnicity or religion.

The writing is beautiful, just descriptive enough to provide context, and cuts straight to describing the emotions felt by the family members as they cope with their individual challenges and find their places in a changing world. For Helen and Sylvia, who towards the end of the book, are now approaching or just past 80, it's also a look back while they continue to move forward.

I was glad to read about multiple characters who are at later points in life, the sisters at 80-something, their children in their 40s and 50s, but also the grandchildren finding their ways through adolescence and young adulthood. It was a multi-faceted portrait, but age and experience, while respected, were not shown to be infallible. A good story, all around.