A Memoir of Growth and Pain – You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith

This memoir by poet Maggie Smith relates the history of her marriage, her divorce, and journey to find some level of peace and acceptance. It is beautifully written, yet at times almost excruciatingly painful to read. She shares just enough of her life so that we have a sketch of the arc of the relationship from its beginning and onward as it unravels, the failed linchpin of that being when she discovers her husband's betrayal, and then its following and complete destruction. 

She writes eloquently of her loving relationship with her two young children, her closeness with her family, and with friends. Preoccupied with motherhood, and with her evolving success as a published writer, she does not recognize how the marriage is deconstructing until much later, when, as the divorce proceeds and is completed, she has the distance to realize how it was coming apart long before she discovered her husband's unfaithfulness.

Smith is respectful enough of her ex-husband in her portrayal, considering that he was the cheater, and once separated from Smith, moved 500 miles away from his young children, so that parenting became even more primarily her responsibility.

Even though I am agewise a peer of Smith's mother, I can recognize my younger self in past relationships that ended unhappily, though I suspect it doesn't matter how old one is in such situations. In those too, the signs were there for Smith as they were for me, though in the midst of things, they went unread. Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.", but that could easily be rephrased to happy marriages or relationships. Happy relationships are not often examined, it is the unhappy ones that plague us with doubt, disappointment, sadness, and anger.

Smith's mother tells her how unexpected the marriage's breakup was to her and the rest of Smith's family. She cites Smith's fortieth birthday, when Smith's husband presented her with a handwritten list of the 40 things he loved about her. Not only has that piece of paper disappeared, but Smith has no memory of it. Some reviewers have expressed disbelief about Smith's forgetting it and its loss, but I understand it – like so many poignant reminders of other times, in her pain she has destroyed it and excised the memory. She mentions in another passage how she now understands why people cut their past significant others out of photos or outright destroy them: of course you do, when the pain is greatest, you try to remove its source, and hold on only to the good pieces of memory.

I found this book by reading a post in "Oldster", a Substack edited by the journalist and editor Sari Botton, and when I went to the library to borrow it, I found it prominently displayed...perhaps a bit of the serendipity in life that Smith mentions in her writing. Who knows? Maggie Smith in "Oldster" 

An Inspiring Life – Iris Apfel: Accidental Icon, by Iris Apfel

This is a revised review, based on a re-read for my latest Substack article, about the inspiration I have found in the life of Iris Apfel:

If you are a fan of style icon and centenarian Iris Apfel, you'll love this book! If you haven't heard of her, then it's the perfect introduction to this extraordinary woman. 

Iris Apfel became something of a celebrity once her personal collection of clothing and accessories was exhibited in 2005 at the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. Since then, she has been the subject of a documentary film, "Iris", and has sold her "Rara Avis" line on HSN. This engaging book combines her personal recollections and photos along with terrific illustrations and graphics. 

Iris shares some fascinating anecdotes about her professional life (she and her husband ran a successful textile design business), her travels, her style and her viewpoints on a number of topics. It's a fun and appealing read. You may not like or agree with everything she says, but she is her own woman with her own perspective, and since she has passed her 102nd birthday, I believe that more than ever, she retains the right to speak her mind. Viva Iris!

Since this book first came out, Iris was also featured "If You're Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast", a documentary narrated by the late Carl Reiner, who made to 98 himself. She has also been the subject of a picture book, Iris Apfel (Little People, BIG DREAMS, Volume 64), and a Little Golden Book Biography, simply titled Iris Apfel. There are even highly collectible Barbie dolls that celebrates her one-of-a-kind style...hard to find, but out there for dedicated collectors and lovers of the current film. Meanwhile, read and enjoy this book celebrating the indomitable Iris Apfel.

Hearts of Gold – Curves for Days by Laura Moher

I don't usually choose "romance" novels but I took a chance on this one since it featured a less than ideally sized (meaning not thin) woman, at least one who saw herself that way. I was not disappointed.

Rose, our heroine, is a thirty-something woman who comes from a tough working-class background, and is alone in the world. She comes into a winning lottery ticket that nets her 80 million dollars, and finds herself surrounded with hangers-on and worse in Indianapolis. Wanting to escape that, as well as traumatic memories that led her to drop out of high school, after securing legal and financial help for managing the money, she buys a car and starts driving, eventually landing in a small town in North Carolina, where she begins to create a new life for herself.

Angus, also in his thirties, is a life-long resident of Rose's new town, and has a repetition for his gruff demeanor. He has a one-man contractor business, but also is a part-time mental counselor working with his fellow veterans, who are sufferers of PTSD, have drug and alcohol problems, and in some cases, debilitating effects of injuries from their service.

Rose buys a fixer-upper home and hires Angus as her contractor. Each of them is wary of the other, but gradually they form a friendship, and eventually more. How that all happens, and how the author presents Rose's desire and plan to do something productive with her newly-acquired money, and Angus's work with his clients, along with their ups and downs with each other, makes this novel quite a cut above what the reader might expect from romance fiction. I enjoyed it, was a bit sorry to have it end, and will look for more from this author. 

Examined Lives – Summer Roommates by Holly Chamberlin

This was an enjoyable novel about, for a change, older women. The four women ranged from their fifties into their seventies. While it is presented as a "beach read", it is really more than that, examining aging, friendship, intimate relationships, family conflicts, and personal and professional growth.

Sandra, 74, lives in a small coastal Maine town, the kind of place where everyone knows everybody else, in a large well-cared-for gracious home. She is widowed, her two grown children live far away, and her best friend has developed dementia. Other than the loneliness that comes with those circumstances, her life is a good one, with the companionship of her recently adopted cat, Clovis. But after a winter feeling isolated and rather lonely, she decides to try renting rooms to compatible single women to see how that might out on a more permanent basis – following the expanding current trend in group living for older adults.

Her daughter, a lawyer, is concerned for her safety and that she won't be taken advantage of, but her son is more supportive and encouraging. Sandra carefully vets the candidates with the help of a trusted realtor. She chooses Mary, a 60-something recently retired lawyer from New York; Amanda, a teacher in her 50s from Boston who has decided to take a vacation from her long-term relationship; and on a gut feeling that the realtor tries to dissuade her from, Patty, going on 70, who is adrift after a life of low-paying jobs and poor decisions about money and men, and is reluctantly living with her sister and brother-in-law. There is something about her, though, that touches Sandra, and she accepts her, giving her the smallest, least expensive room, and making accommodations for weekly payment instead of upfront as the others have made.

There are disagreements and misunderstandings, but over the summer, the four get to know one another, form connections, and perhaps more importantly come to terms with themselves and their individual issues. 

I enjoyed the author's examination of the concerns of older women, on aging and sexism, and coping with concerns about healthcare and dementia. These are very real things that many older people are struggling with or worrying about. I did feel that the characters, aside from Patty, were a little bland. I would liked a little more ethnicity in the mix as well, but for other readers, they are probably diverse enough. On the whole it is a good read, thoughtful but not overly demanding. I'll look for this author's work again. 

Bravery on the Home Front – Canary Girls by Jennifer Chiaverini

Author Jennifer Chiaverini, who has written so many fine historical novels, turns her attention here to women who worked in munitions factories in England during World War I. Their work was often extremely dangerous as they were working with chemicals such as the TNT that was used in bombshells. There was always the possibility of explosions, and poisoning from the materials, which could lead to debilitating illnesses or ultimately, death. The term, Canary Girls, comes from the extreme yellowing of skin color from exposure to the TNT compound. In addition, their hair changed color, or turned white, and they experienced breathing problems and exhaustion, also due to their very long shifts and lack of time off. 

She focuses here on several characters who represent different social classes. April was a working class young woman who "went into service" as a maid at a manor house. She left her position at the urging of her friend, Marjorie, and at the factory they received higher wages, better food, and compared to maids' 24/7 work conditions, shorter and defined hours. Lucy was a middle-class woman married to an aspiring architect who was also an Olympic medal finalist and champion footballer (soccer player). After her husband enlisted in the military, she took a factory job to help support herself and their sons. Helen, the daughter of a German-born classics professor at Oxford, married a man who, as the son of a very wealthy sewing machine business owner, became the boss at the munitions plant when their company converted output into wartime manufacturing. Helen, a very progressive woman, looked for a role at the factory, and became an advocate for the women employees and their working conditions. 

The other thing the women all share is athletic ability and an interest in football. They become members of the factory's women's football team and begin playing against other teams in a league. Helen is instrumental in supporting the team and is eventually enlisted as a player. Their football team helps unite the women and raises their spirits.

As the war drags on, there are various challenges both personally and professionally for each of the characters. As readers, we become aware of the deprivations of food and other commodities and the fear engendered by German bombings, as well as the measures taken against German nationals or those of German descent living in England at the time. This is all probably less well-known to most of us in the United States, as the emphasis on all of these aspects has been more widely reported about World War II, perhaps because it is more recent, and many of us grew up in that post war era.

All is all, this is a very compelling read, and there is a lot to learn about this time period, including how America's late entry into the war was viewed. On the whole, I greatly enjoyed it. However, there was one glaring error that could and should have been avoided: when Helen wants to tour the factory, her husband admonishes her about wearing any metals as she makes her rounds, but also silk and nylon garments. When I saw "nylon" I had to pause, as I was quite sure that nylon did not exist during World War I. I was correct: it came into being in the 1930s in a DuPont laboratory. https://sciencehistory.org/stories/magazine/nylon-a-revolution-in-textiles/ I am really surprised that either the author or her editor were not aware of this. Finding an error like this, I wonder if there could be others? I'd be interested in learning about other readers' discoveries, if there are any. In any case, this detail, which occurred fairly early in the book haunted me, and is what caused me to knock off the fifth star I might have otherwise given it. 

Tarnished Lives – California Golden by Melanie Benjamin

Was the 60s era California's Golden Age? That's for this novel's readers to decide. 

I really enjoyed Melanie Benjamin's Swans of Fifth Avenue, and I'm currently listening to the audio book version of Mistress of the Ritz (so far, so good). California Golden is a fast-moving page-turner with a lot of familiar settings for anyone who lives in or has traveled frequently to California, and with all its cultural references to the 60s and the Baby Boom era in which it is set. As I qualify as both a frequent visitor to the Golden State and as a Baby Boomer, there wasn't a lot of new territory to discover here, in those respects and in many of the plot elements. Unfortunately, a number of the developments in the storyline are pretty predictable before they unfold, but I enjoyed reliving some (but not all) of the aspects of the 60s.

Mindy and Ginger Donnelly are sisters. We follow them from their pre-teen years, into their later teens and beyond, in chronological order, and through flashbacks. They are the daughters of Carol Donnelly, a champion surfer (a rarity for a woman in the 50s and 60s), a reluctant mother who'd rather be chasing a wave than living the suburban life of the post-war era. In fact, Carol leaves her husband and daughters to live in Hawaii in a surfing community. Their disappointed father sues for divorce, and Carol is forced to come back to California to make a home for them – more or less, mostly less, as the girls struggle through the remainder of their childhood and adolescence, mainly struggling to self-parent themselves. But Carol, as we eventually learn, has quite a backstory of her own, though it is told in a way that does not engender much sympathy.

Mindy, as the big sister, who follows in her mother's footsteps to become a surfing phenomenon, feels a great responsibility for the very vulnerable Ginger, but one day at the beach the girls make choices that will challenge their bond, and forever impact their future lives – and that is where the saga really starts to unfold.

Mindy embarks on a Hollywood career but it ends almost before it begins, while Ginger falls into a relationship that captures much of the down side of 60s California beach culture. Reading their stories, it was easy to imagine what their older and wiser selves might have said to them decades later about the directions they took.

Carol's fate in late middle age seems to be a harsh judgement, perhaps even retribution, for her earlier choices. Though her character made me angry, I also felt sympathy for her. Her daughters, as the next generation, had more opportunity to reset their lives, and the reader is left with the impression that they will.

The title "California Golden" is filled with irony, as the novel also focuses on the impact of racism and colonialism in Hawaii, carried over into the California setting, where white supremacy also makes several appearances. Since it is the 60s, the Vietnam War and drug culture are also addressed. Domestic violence and sexual politics come into play. There is nothing "golden" about any of these – they are the dark side of the peace, love, and brotherhood we prefer to remember about the era, when in fact, there was tremendous turmoil: the contrasting violence against civil rights marchers, riots in major cities (including Los Angeles), and the opposition to the war. Still, I am glad I lived through it, and that some essence of its ideals remain, though in today's harshly divided America those principles are struggling to survive more than ever.

A Mind Adrift – Elizabeth Is Missing by Emma Healey

This book was the first chosen to be read for a newly-formed book club. Had I not been reading it for that purpose, I would not have stayed with it, as I found it both painful and depressing.

Maud, a woman in her early 80s, living in a working-class English town, is moving ever deeper into dementia. Her memory is muddled and she is often confused. She frequently repeats herself, or seems to speak out of context about unrelated details, and asks the same questions over and over, of her daughter, Helen, her granddaughter Katy, and the various "carers" who come to her home on a regular basis.

Maud does not know, or doesn't remember, what has happened to her best friend Elizabeth, and is worried that she is injured, hurt, or the victim of a crime. She goes to Elizabeth's home, repeatedly calls the police about her, and even takes out a missing person ad in the local newspaper, aggravating Peter, Elizabeth's hostile son. She asks Helen about Elizabeth in nearly every conversation. 

I found it shocking that Maud was living alone, even with frequent visits from her daughter, and with her "carers" who make her lunch, and do other things around her home. There are notes and signs put up around the house as reminders, but Maud doesn't grasp their meaning, or remember them. To help herself, she writes her own notes, which she stuffs in her pockets, but then forgets that they are there or what they mean.

Helen, who seems overwhelmed by her circumstances, has clearly not realized or doesn't want to accept that Maud's condition has deteriorated to the point that she should not be alone at all. Eventually this is rectified but handled very gracelessly – Helen sells Maud's house without her truly grasping what is happening, then moves her into her home.

There is another person missing in this story: Sukey (a nickname for Susan), Maud's beloved older sister, who disappeared shortly after World War II when Maud was just a young teenager. Her whereabouts were never resolved. Given that Maud's family lived throughout the bombings of World War II, and the deprivations that followed, it seems likely to me that some of Maud's difficulties are also the long-term result of PTSD – when Sukey did not reappear, Maud was sick in bed for a long time with what seems to have been a physical condition brought on by depression. There are also references to circumstances later, when as a wife and mother, Maud seemed unable to cope.

Having grown up in a family where there were both mental illness and memory loss in those close to me, I found this book quite horrifying. I felt tremendous sympathy for Maud, and for Helen, who was not finding her mother the help she needed, despite what seemed to be her best effort. It felt like a statement to me of what is missing in healthcare for the elderly and the mentally ill, in both the British setting of the book, and in what I have observed in this country. In that way, the novel was very effective, but I can't recommend it for anyone who is deeply disturbed by those issues. 

Windows to the Heart – The Glass Chateau by Stephen P. Kiernan

An outstanding work of historical fiction, set in France following the end of World War II, and centering around Asher, a character inspired by the modernist artist Marc Chagall (1887-1885), who worked in many mediums, but whose stained glass windows are some of his most widely-recognized works.

Asher is a French Jew whose wife and toddler daughter were killed in front of him by the Nazis. He joined the Resistance and became an assassin. When the war ends, he finds himself at loose ends, mourning his family, his home, and lost business as a fine craftsman of custom-made boots. He wanders the French countryside, a devastation of destroyed villages, roads, bridges, farms, cathedrals, and buildings of every other variety. Everyone is starving, and what we would today call PTSD affects nearly every person. Crime and violence are widespread as the surviving French people try to recover and rebuild.

Eventually he finds his way to the Château Guerin, a stained glass workshop and manor house, run by Brigitte, whose family has operated the business for generations, and her husband Marc, devout Catholics, along with a crew of workers. Asher is famished, and they feed him, then offer him lodging and work. All of the workers have come to the château in a state of despair from their wartime experiences. As he is surrounded by practicing Catholics, the workshop's commissions are replacements for the destroyed windows of churches and cathedrals, and anti-Semitism is widespread, Asher keeps his religion a secret from the others.

Brigette and Marc's other mission is to create a healing experience for the workers, which they do by providing them with food, security, and work. Over time, Asher finds a sense of purpose in his work, learns glassmaking, and is able to nourish his artistic spirit. He also connects, even as he deeply mourns his wife and daughter, with a local woman who supplies the château and village with fruit and vegetables from her vast garden.

Asher becomes more and more of a contributor to the château's work as time passes. Though he lives under the strain of his secret, and continues to grieve, he is still able to heal and grow. This is a beautiful and moving story about the capacity of the human spirit for forgiveness, community, the creation of art, and the enjoyment of beauty, wherever and however it can be found.

Pioneering Woman of Law – The Spinster, the Rebel, & the Governor by Charlene Bell Dietz

This book is both a find and an inspiration. It is the introduction to the imagined inner and community life, based on research through factual court and other records, of Margaret Brent, the woman whose extraordinary accomplishments in law, at a time when no woman could officially become an attorney, inspired the Margaret Brent Award of the American Bar Association, an honor received by women with accomplished and storied careers in the judicial arena. Brent is largely unknown except by those in the legal field, but once you read this historical novel, you will not soon forget her.

At thirty-six, Margaret Brent left her comfortable home and most of her family in England to start a new life in Maryland in the first half of the seventeenth century. Just the ocean voyage alone would have been daunting, but to come to a small colony of male landowners, some with wives, but many without, a number of servants (most of whom were working off their passage in an indentured arrangement), and the surrounding Native American communities, some hostile, some not, would have been too intimidating for most people, particularly single women.

Margaret and her sister Mary, and their brothers Fulke and Giles, immigrated to the colony of St. Mary's City, Maryland in 1638. They were just four of the children of a large family of Catholic landed gentry in Gloucestershire, England. There was great turmoil in England over religious issues, which began the previous century when Henry VIII abolished the authority of the Pope and made himself head of the Church of England. Both Catholics and Puritans, who were Protestants who objected to the practices of the Church of England, experienced prejudice and repression – hence the establishment of the Puritan colony in 1620 of what became Plymouth, Massachusetts – and families like the Brents, who, despite their wealth and prestige, were living fearfully, as their religious practices were outlawed. 

As single women, Margaret and Mary were able to become landowners in Maryland (if a woman married, her property became her husband's). One of the major themes of the book is Margaret's conflict between her desire for independence and the ownership of her property, versus her feelings for Leonard Calvert, the governor of the Maryland colony.

In addition, the novel presents how Margaret, both well-read and bold, and with a strong sense of justice, began to challenge the all-male government system of the colony, and advocate for those who had been wronged in various disputes. She made appearances before what was the court system of the time, and served as the attorney for those in need. She was also deeply involved in the financial affairs of the colony, and as executrix, managed the affairs of the estate of Leonard Calvert after his death. This too was extraordinary for a woman of her time. 

In the list of historical figures that opens the book, the author shares that Margaret presented over 125 cases to the governing body and that the title of "Attorney" appears in the official records of the time. This accomplishment led to a number of honors in her name in Maryland, and in Virginia, where she later moved.

As presented, Margaret's story and achievements are fascinating – no doubt she was an amazing woman in real life, as well as in fiction. The novel incorporates this historical material in an understandable and accessible writing style, and this woman of the 1600s feels very much alive, with a personality and accomplishments that would make her a powerful figure if she were with us today.

Dreams of a Lost World – Poland, A Green Land by Aharon Appelfeld, Translated by Stuart Schoffman

I was deeply engaged with this novel, translated from the original Hebrew, until I got to the unsatisfying and somewhat perplexing last chapter. I have a theory on it, but I'm not sure if I'm right about my conclusion.

Yaakov Fein, a successful middle-aged Israeli businessman and former army officer living in Tel Aviv, travels to Szydowce, Poland, the small village where his parents lived before World War II, and who managed to flee when most of their relatives and friends were murdered by the Nazis, in particularly horrific circumstances. He's been feeling restless and alienated lately, and having an interior conversation about his distant relationship with his parents, who have passed on. Yaakov's wife, Rivka, and his grown daughters are skeptical, even hostile, towards his wish to see where his ancestors lived. The marriage is tense, and the daughters are aligned with their mother.

Nevertheless, he flies to Warsaw, takes a train to Krakow, where he spends a few days seeking out the remnants of the former Jewish community, and enjoys the European atmosphere, which is so different from Tel Aviv. A taxi driver takes him the rest of the way. There, he boards with Magda, an attractive but lonely widow, and her adult daughter Maria, who has emotional and mental impairments.

The village is small, and is the hub for the many farmers who live in the vicinity. There is a grocery, a tavern, and a few other businesses. No Jews remain, nor does Yaakov immediately notice any sign of their former residence.

Magda also has a small farm, including cows and other livestock. She puts Yaakov up in her pleasant home, where she serves him homemade meals of foods made of the produce of her garden, and the milk of her cows. They talk, and Yaakov learns that she knew members of his family when she was a child. Her stories about his family helps bring them to life, and the two of them grow close, and passionate, before long. Yaakov dreams vivid, complicated dreams of his parents and his lost relatives.

While Magda works on her farm chores, Yaakov walks around the village, seeking out whatever else he can learn about his murdered relatives and the fate of all the village's Jews. At first the villagers are pleasant enough, though guarded, but then Yaakov learns that many of the paving stones in the center of the village are made from the broken headstones of the murdered Jews, including the visible remnants of that of his great-grandfather. Tensions rise when Yaakov expresses a desire to pay for the stones to be removed and be shipped to Tel Aviv. He makes an offer. The hidden resentment and anti-Jewish attitudes of the villagers come to the forefront when the mayor, as their representative, asks for an exorbitant sum, and Yaakov refuses. Then, of course, the hate bubbles up.

It's different with Magda, but they both know that their liaison is temporary. After a week or so, Yaakov calls home, and his wife continues with her skepticism and criticism. When he calls next, she tells them that their younger daughter has been hospitalized and is having tests. With this news, and the hostility that has surfaced in the town, he knows he must return home. Magda understands and accepts the situation. She brings him to the Krakow train station in her wagon, pulled by her horses and they say their sad goodbyes. Yaakov returns to Warsaw, where he catches his plane home.

At this point, the book unravels. On the plane to Tel Aviv, Yaakov falls into conversation with another Israeli man, another businessman, as it turns out. Here's the question? Is Yaakov dreaming? Is the other man real, or is he Yaakov's father, or even a version of himself. Hmm...