Thursday, May 18, 2023

So Tender – Maman's Homesick Pie: A Persian Heart in an American Kitchen by Donia Bijan

This was the most beautiful book...it brought tears to my eyes more than once. The author, Donia Bijan, has written a lyrical memoir that describes her early life with her parents and sisters in Iran, before the Islamic Revolution, their move to the United States, and her complicated quest to become a professional chef, or as her father and she sometimes called it, a cook. It is also the story of her relationship with her parents, primarily her close bond with her mother, who must have been an amazing and formidable woman, and was a loving supporter of Donia's ambition.

Her parents were a dedicated obstetrician (her father), and nurse (her mother) who established and ran a small hospital in Tehran. They had living quarters on the building's grounds, which sounds like an idyllic Eden, though her parents worked long, hard hours caring for their patients, and on top of that, her mother was an extraordinary cook and hostess. Amy (her mother, as she was known in English) was a fervent believer in women's rights and became one of the few female politicians elected to the Iranian legislature during the Shah's reign. Of course, after the Revolution, women were completely oppressed and had the Bijans remained in Iran, she would surely have been executed as an enemy of the new government. Fortunately the family was on vacation in Spain at the time the Shah's government fell, and family members were able to alert them not to return to Iran, but as a result they became exiles.

Her parents had already sent Donia's two older sisters to college in the U.S., and Donia went to high school, then college, in California, this after her parents had immigrated. Her father never adjusted to his new country, was unable to sufficiently master English to take the medical boards, and became angry and bitter. Amy, on the other hand, who had been trained in England, and spoke strong English, was able to study, pass the exams, and become the support for the family. 

The chapters progress through Donia's college years, her training at Cordon Bleu in France, and her apprenticeships at various restaurants throughout that country. When she returned to the United States, settling near her family in San Francisco, she eventually merged her French training, Persian roots and food memories, and American experiences into a restaurant of her own. It is a remarkable, and vivid story of an atypical life. 

As I read, I thought frequently of an Iranian couple who had been my ESL students. They too left their home after the Shah was deposed, and lost much of their family's property and assets to the revolutionaries. Despite the pain they might have felt, they were so positive (at least outwardly) and thoughtful. I remember the little tubs of halvah and other treats they brought me, and I have kept a gift  bottle of rosewater in my pantry closet, which always brings them to mind each time I see it.

I can not praise Maman's Homesick Pie: A Persian Heart in an American Kitchen enough. It is one of the best books I have read over the past few years, and certainly one of the most moving.

As a bonus, there are some wonderful recipes included, though this is in no way a cookbook. The recipes feel more like a gift. I expect to try a few when I can. 

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