Greek Triumph: Ask Me Again Tomorrow, a Life in Progress by Olympia Dukakis

Olympia Dukakis, the well-loved and Oscar-winning actress who passed away earlier this year at the age of 89, is vibrantly and fully alive on the pages of this fast-paced and fascinating memoir. Her strong personality comes through on every page, first as she describes her childhood in Lowell, Massachusetts, her teen years and first career steps in and around Boston, and her young adulthood and continued career development in New York. 

Her Greek-American identity and fraught family relationships shaped her character. She was rebellious and unconventional from the start, not the "good Greek girl" she so often referred to. She had a tense relationship with her critical mother and eventually uncovered disappointing behavior on the part of her father, a philanderer who badly hurt her mother and the family.

Despite many challenges and setbacks, she was determined and ultimately succeeded in becoming a serious and successful actress, had a loving relationship and marriage that spanned 40 years, started and for years ran a theater company with her husband in their adopted home base of Montclair, New Jersey, and was the mother of two children.

Her memoir, written with Emily Heckman, recounts the many details of her struggles and travails to achieve career goals, to find acceptance as an ethnic "outsider" in many circles, her struggles with depression and health issues, and celebrates her many successes as well. While she also describes relationships with others in the acting field, she avoids imparting celebrity gossip – there is not a word, for example, about Cher, her co-star in "Moonstruck", for which they both won Oscars, though she is listed in the many acknowledgements at the close of the book.

While reading the memoir, it was hard to grasp that she was no longer with us, it is that vivid and intimate. It is almost like receiving the confidences of a friend who trusts you to listen, but knows you won't judge her. She is so real, so down-to-earth, that you feel you know her, and only wish she could live forever.

I was fortunate to have a fleeting moment in which I shared a space with her (from afar). A friend and I attended an Off-Broadway play shortly after "Moonstruck". We had balcony seats in the smallish Lambs' Theater (now demolished, sadly), and looked down into the orchestra section, where we spotted Olympia (in mink) and Cher (in a white fur) arriving and taking seats in the front row. We were amused to see them sharing an aluminum foil-wrapped snack during the intermission – maybe Olympia brought it from her kitchen in Montclair – who knows? So normal and so just like the rest of us!

I highly recommend her memoir, not only if you are a fan, but also if you have an interest in theater, and the lives of unconventional feminist mid-century women. There's a lot to chew and digest here.

Obituary for Olympia Dukakis from the Boston Globe