I Will Never Forget – We Must Be Brave by Frances Liardet

A unique and extraordinary insight into life in England particularly during World War II, but also before and beyond, and how individual lives are transformed with lasting impact by the massive events of history.

We Must Be Brave is beautifully structured. It can almost be divided into three sections: roughly a fifth (or perhaps a quarter), set before the war, a much larger portion, perhaps three fifths, devoted to the war years, and then a final fifth that covers the aftermath and resolves the issues and questions previously raised.

This is the story of Ellen Parr, who in 1940 is a young married woman in the vicinity of coastal Southampton, coping with the demands and deprivations of life during the war, and her relationship with Pamela, a young child who had become motherless in a bombing raid and then joins Ellen's household. That statement of the circumstances gives a simple view of the premise, but there are many complexities involved. Ellen had been living contentedly within a marriage blanc with her much older husband, Selwyn, who was seriously wounded and traumatized during The Great War. Ellen brought the scars of her own past struggles into the marriage, but the two of them had found peace. She was comfortable with the idea of their not having a family together, but once Pamela came on the scene, everything changed, as Ellen became fiercely devoted and maternal towards her.

Pamela had lived with her mother, and did not know the actual circumstances of her parents' relationship. A story her mother had told her about the loss of her father was untrue. After the events that killed her mother, Pamela had been found alone on a bus by the authorities, and no one knew who she was or who she belonged to.

When Ellen brought Pamela home, Selwyn was wary. The Parrs were already lodging other displaced children and feeding and caring for them was challenging, given the war shortages. As time went on, and Ellen and Pamela formed their bond, he warned her about becoming too attached. Surely some relative would eventually step forward to claim Pamela, and he felt morally compelled to try to reunite her with her true family. Three years passed, Ellen and Pamela's relationship deepened, and then it happened – Pamela's father, a wounded military officer, who had been searching for her all along, came for her. Pamela is sent away to live in Ireland with her father's sister and the rest of her "true" family.

From that point, their lives diverge. Both must cope with this trauma, and as the war ends, and time passes and things change, Pamela grows up and Ellen endures. Both find their way, but neither forgets.

The novel is a testament to resilience of the human spirit. While their three years together were a pivot point in both Ellen's and Pamela's lives, and their separation brought pain they would feel forever, they found satisfaction in the following decades of their lives, and when the unlikely twists and turns of life finally reunites them, there is a satisfying and encouraging conclusion.